Now Is Still Here Shamil 1 06 06 24

Video

Transcript

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: Okay.

Shamil: Yeah, I mean, generally I just wanted to come and say, you know, thank you for the advice, but I was wondering if I could talk more about this, just in general, it would be helpful, but if you are busy, I understand.

Dhammarato: So tell me about it.

Shamil: So, like most of my. Just generally in life, whenever I try to navigate or make decisions, it’s always sort of fallen on having to make, like big changes now or else everything’s going to go to hell. And it’s used to just be for like, big life decisions. But more and more as I’ve let it sort of like take habit and take root, it’s sort of gone for everything. And I realized now that I don’t kind of have to do that more and more. I think the weirdest thing is, like, the more I started repeating the statement that you told me to repeat, it sort of grabs you and just like not even thinking about what’s going to happen and more just being right there, which is really interesting. I like never do that. I’m always stuck in the, like thinking about the future. And then like when I got back and I started seeing stuff around me more and more, it was really weird because it sort of felt like I was almost living for the first time, which is kind of sad. But it was good in that one.

Dhammarato: Yes. It’s hard for people to come out of the habits of the future and habits of not liking and come into the present moment. As always, the present moment is.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: And yet while we’re in that present moment, we’re not really in that present moment. We’re back into the future and back into the past and back into what we don’t like. Instead of having pleasant thoughts about what’s happening right now. Everything’s okay. Everything is fine. No problems.

Shamil: Yeah. I watched one of the sessions that you did on not being afraid to be happy. That one. And a lot of the talk about, I guess, formal Buddhist scriptures and teachings went over my head, but I tried to, I tried to be attentive to them as much as I could. And I, I don’t know, it. It really did sort of just click more. I, I think a lot of people are just afraid to be happy in general. It’s kind of interesting.

Dhammarato: Well, they’re not supposed to be happy.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: They haven’t done enough to be happy. They don’t deserve yet to be happy.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: Our whole culture teaches us that way.

Shamil: My, my, My father is definitely more all stick and no carrot, if you remember that conversation. It’s a little bit interesting. Yeah. Like, I’ve been busting ass trying to. Sorry. I swore. I. I shouldn’t have. I don’t know if swearing is okay. Yeah, like, always had to make the best grades and all the stuff and.

Dhammarato: Well, he wanted only the best for you. Yeah. I’m not sure you are. Is not good enough.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: So you bought his trip. You bought it. You’re not good enough. And you can’t be happy until you strive up to his standards, which, by the way, are never ending. They keep going up and up and up. Whatever you’ve got. That’s not good enough yet.

Shamil: Yeah, it’s kind of interesting. It’s very. There’s. There’s always going to be, like, you know, challenges with implementing or, like, trying to, you know, apply a new mindset to your life. And I think what I found the most difficult still is there’s always going to be big problems in life. Right?

Dhammarato: Like, you have to know. No, there’s always going to be the attitude and the belief that there’s always going to be problems that you were taught. In fact, that’s the whole point of Christianity is to make sure that you understand that things are not good enough until you have Jesus, and then you got to wait until you’re dead. That’s what the whole concept of heaven is all about. They don’t teach that, hey, you can create your own heaven because you’ve created your own hell.

Shamil: I really. That’s weird. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around. There is no, like, problems, one all the way, I guess. I mean, it might take a while.

Dhammarato: There is only this moment. That’s all you have. What are you going to do with this moment?

Shamil: I’m gonna sit here.

Dhammarato: Yeah, you’re gonna be okay. Here’s an interesting question. In heaven, how do people greet each other? Like, how? Well, we already know you’re in heaven. We already know how you’re doing. And what is the person going to say if he’s in heaven?

Shamil: Hmm. I don’t know.

Dhammarato: Yeah. And the fact is that people are not in heaven hardly ever are they in heaven. And the big joke is that when you’re dead, you’re in heaven. Actually, in a way, that’s true. If you understand heaven to be ultimate peace, because being dead is ultimately peaceful. And so the only real heaven is peace, not the heaven of gods and devils and Lucifers having wars because they want to take over heaven. What kind of heaven is that that Lucifer wants to be the boss?

Shamil: Sounds like a war zone.

Dhammarato: Yeah, it’s a War zone, isn’t it?

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: And the funny thing is that any pickpocket, any rapist, any robber can get forgiveness in the Catholic tradition or in the Protestant tradition and then get into heaven. So now what have you got? Heaven is full of pickpockets and rapists and thieves going about doing their heavenly stuff. And what is heaven for a rapist?

Shamil: I don’t. I don’t want to think about that. Yeah.

Dhammarato: So that whole concept of heaven doesn’t work until we realize that everybody who is in heaven creates that heaven. And there is nobody in no place that is heaven that is heavenly enough. The heaven of Christians is quite a hell hole.

Shamil: Yes.

Dhammarato: Probably boring. How would you like to sit and play the same harp for the same tune for 10,000 years?

Shamil: I mean, if you accept it, then maybe. But I wouldn’t want to accept that.

Dhammarato: Yeah. At least Philadelphia brand cream cheese years ago had the right idea of heaven. What is heaven? A whole bunch of pretty girls sitting on clouds eating bagels and cream cheese. ¹

Shamil: That’s. I have not seen those ads.

Dhammarato: Well, it must have not been heavenly enough because you don’t see that commercial anymore. It’s been off the air for 20 years.

Shamil: Yeah, it’s cool.

Dhammarato: So anyway, back to your dad. He wanted you to have a good life. He wanted you to be in heaven. But his idea of it was is that you got to do what he tells you to do in order for you to be happy. Because you’re not happy enough now, because you’re not doing what you’re told to do.

Shamil: Yeah. I mean, he’s trying. He’s trying his best. I know that. I know that for sure.

Dhammarato: Well, there’s no reason to blame him because he got what he got where from his parents, from his dad, or. Where does grandpa get his stuff?

Shamil: I’m sure it’s going to be his. His den.

Dhammarato: Well, this is what they refer to as original sin. The original sin is, is that we’re judgmental and we find problems. And because we find problems, the world is not good enough. It’s not a paradise. That’s the original sin. And your grand. Your grandpa and your great great grandpa own back all the way down to your dad was making sure that you know that. So when are you going to make a change?

Shamil: Well, hopefully now.

Dhammarato: Now. Exactly. You could change our minds right now.

Shamil: It would be like in parentheses, like, and now, comma, and now. And now, though, because it’s very easy to slip back and forget.

Dhammarato: Yes. That. That’s one thing that’s quite amazing is that now has the quality that is always here.

Shamil: Yes.

Dhammarato: Now doesn’t ever leave. What people do is they leave. They leave. The people leave. The now is still here.

Shamil: Oh, yeah.

Dhammarato: And so when you leave, just keep coming back to the here now. We have to remember.

Shamil: I have a. I have a question.

Dhammarato: All right.

Shamil: Say you’re in the now. Actually, no. This is just a hypothetical. I don’t know how to phrase this. How do you make good decisions in the now?

Dhammarato: You don’t have to keep making decisions in your life. Whatever you do decide is okay.

Shamil: Well, what.

Dhammarato: Whatever you do, it. I mean, whatever you’ve done in the past, you did it. So it must have been okay. I mean, you’re still alive. It didn’t kill you. Whatever you did.

Shamil: This is true.

Dhammarato: So it must have been okay. Whatever decisions that you made, okay. It got you to here now.

Shamil: So can you. Can you do without deciding? Is that a real thing you can.

Dhammarato: Do well, you can do without judging your decisions. That almost all decisions are made out of a conflict between how things ought to be and how you want them to be. And the better decisions are made in reality. When you see how things really are, oftentimes there’s no decisions to be made because everything is already okay.

Shamil: Okay. I guess I don’t often know what my decisions are based in reality. Does that just come with trial and error practice?

Dhammarato: Actually, it comes through observation. It comes by seeing clearly and that clear seeing comes from repetitive looking. That almost everybody goes through the process of looking and seeing and then thinking and thinking and thinking and feeling bad and getting worse and downhill, and then they’ll see something else, and then they’ll think about it and think about it and have some feelings about it and want stuff and everything goes downhill. And then later they may look at something and then they’ll have thoughts about it, and then they’ll think about it, and then they’ll have some feelings about it, and then everything goes downhill. All right? But what we’re talking about here is looking and then looking again, then looking again and keep looking and keep looking. And pretty soon we begin to see because we keep looking instead of looking and thinking about it and looking and thinking about it and feeling about it. That in fact, while we’re looking and then thinking and then feeling, we’re not spending a whole lot of time looking. And what we wind up with is actually not what we actually looked at in the first place. It’s our decisions and our thoughts about it that we spend all the time with. So the actual practice is Beginning to just look, Just look, Just look.

Shamil: Very interesting.

Dhammarato: And when we look and we see something unwholesome, we can say, hey, I can change that. The example would be, I look at a decision that I made, and then I can say, oh, that was a bad choice. That was a bad decision. Oh, poor me, I could have done that better. Have you ever done that?

Shamil: Yeah. Yeah.

Dhammarato: Or can you look at those decisions and said, well, whatever it was, it got me here, and I’m okay right now. Everything is good right now. Every decision I ever made, whether it was good or bad, depending upon somebody’s attitude, but it got me here, and I’m satisfied with this present moment. So everything that I’ve ever done must have been okay.

Shamil: This is true. I do have to look.

Dhammarato: So every decision that you make in the future is going to probably wind you up in an okay state. So what do you care about what decisions are good or bad?

Shamil: I.

Dhammarato: Things happen. Can you handle them? That’s the only thing. So don’t worry about whether you make good decisions or not. The only thing to do is to say, whatever happens, I can handle that.

Shamil: Yeah. I think the only longing thing that’s sort of unwholesome about that is. Is just going back to, you know, societal expectations, which a little hard to shake. I think that’s the one I have to work on the most. That’s the one that comes up the most. It’s always. It’s like, if I make this mistake, societal expectations, and then I’ve been better about always remembering that it doesn’t matter. But it’s interesting how it keeps coming back up. It’s weird. It’s like. It’s just like, there. You’re like, oh, people are gonna. People are gonna make fun of me. And you’re like, why? Why does it matter? And then it just comes back up again. And you’re like, why does it matter? And then it comes back up again. It’s like over and over and over again. It does not stop.

Dhammarato: Mm. And so that’s the unwholesome thoughts we have is thinking that things matter. In fact, it doesn’t matter. You probably heard the statement mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind, it don’t matter.

Shamil: Don’t matter. It really don’t matter.

Dhammarato: Your decisions don’t matter. What matters is your state of mind.

Shamil: Because then no matter what decision you make, you’ll be okay.

Dhammarato: Whatever decisions you make will be okay. Because when you’re in a good State of mind, you’re automatically going to be making wise decisions. And when you’re in a bad state of mind, you’re almost always going to make bad decisions. When you’re worried about something, you’re probably going to make a bad decision about it. But if you’re. You don’t care, then everything’s going to work out just fine.

Shamil: Yeah, it’s something I have to work on, obviously.

Dhammarato: I think you don’t have to work on it. You just work with whatever you work on. Just play with it right now. Just remember right now, everything’s already okay. This is why we practice the way we do of keep having wholesome thoughts. One wholesome thought after another. One wholesome thought after another. And so when you say, oh, I’ll have to work on it, that’s an unwholesome thought right there. Yes, much better thought would be, I can do this. Because when you say something like I’ll have to work on it, that’s got doubt, remorse, a little guilt mixed in. All of that kind of stuff is built into that one little statement. But when you change those statements into I can do this, then no matter what happens, no matter what kind of things happen out in paradise in the real world of reality, you can handle it. I can do, always have. That’s the interesting thing. You’ve always been able to handle stuff.

Shamil: Do this.

Dhammarato: You handle them by feeling bad. You handled them by worry. Now you can handle it easy. You’ve always been able to handle things. That’s why you’re alive and kicking right now. You survived. Congratulate yourself. You’re alive.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: You’ve done in the past was no problem because it got you here.

Shamil: That’s really interesting. I. I’m starting. It’s not just so there’s nothing.

Dhammarato: It’s liberating. It’s not just interesting, it’s liberating.

Shamil: That’s that. I think that’s what I was going to go for. I don’t want to overthink that too much.

Dhammarato: Now think about, wow. I don’t have to even think about it. Everything is already okay. I don’t have to fix anything. The only thing to fix is the unwholesome thoughts, which is basically the thoughts of unwholesome thoughts are the ones who tell you you gotta fix stuff. It’s all broken. This is a hell hole. Dad told me, he told me I had to work. And when you see those thoughts, you can say, wait a minute, everything is already okay.

Shamil: Everything already is okay. Is it okay to like Feel sad or upset?

Dhammarato: Pardon?

Shamil: Is it, like, okay to feel sad or upset just sometimes, though?

Dhammarato: Well, when you feel sad, that’s because you’re thinking about something that you lost.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: Yeah. You’re thinking about something that you lost, so you feel sad. Can you see that? That thought wound you up, feeling sad. And guess what? There’s no reason to feel sad other than some stupid thought about something bad that we envy. It’s bad because we decided that it was bad. But in fact, it didn’t kill you. You’re still here. You’re all right. Everything’s going to be okay. Why be sad? Aha. I see that sadness, and I’m still okay. What a relief it is. That sadness is not going to strangle me. I can take a deep breath and look at that sadness and say, guess what? It’s very temporary. It’s going to go away. But if you keep thinking about what made you sad, you’re going to stay sad because you keep dwelling on the sadness and dwelling on the reason that you’re sad. Oh, poor me. I lost that marble.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: Oh, I need that marble. That marble was so beautiful. I feel so sad because I lost it. I mean, instead, hey, I don’t need that marble. I’ve got plenty of other marbles. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is fine. That marble doesn’t mean anything.

Shamil: That marble doesn’t. Yeah. I guess my question is, like, sometimes our. Like, you don’t want to dwell on it, but those kind of things do come up. And sometimes I do, like just sort of watching them come up and then go away. I don’t know if that makes sense.

Dhammarato: Everything is temporary.

Shamil: Yeah.

Dhammarato: They only last because we hold on to them, cling to them, keep worrying about them having the same thought patterns over and over again. And so those sad feelings. Lingerie. But instead we can say, aha. I see that that thought brought on sadness. Let me think of something happy instead. I don’t have to think about sad things that bring on sad feelings. I can have happy thoughts and have happy feelings because whatever it was that I lost wasn’t that important anyway. But that’s the problem is that I put too much importance on it.

Shamil: Yeah. Oh, yeah. I don’t have much. I don’t have much else to ask. It’s kind of was. How’s your day going?

Dhammarato: Everything is all right. Everything is fine. Not a worry.

Shamil: Yeah, I’m gonna.

Dhammarato: We have to practice that because. Because look how much practice you’ve got into. Feeling bad.

Shamil: Is practice just remembering or.

Dhammarato: Nevermind. What was that?

Shamil: Is practice just remembering? Is that what it is?

Dhammarato: Remembering is the most important thing because if you don’t remember, nothing’s going to happen. Can you imagine a martial artist, maybe a fourth or fifth dan, been practicing for years and years and years and now he’s walking down a blind alley stupidly and three or four thugs started to attack him. Is he going to forget his martial arts skills?

Shamil: I mean. No. Hopefully no.

Dhammarato: Well, that’s because he’s practiced, he’s put those time into it. So if you start practicing over and over and over again to remember, you’re not going to forget. The ones who forget are the ones who have never practiced. That’s a skill that needs to be developed. The skill of remembering.

Shamil: Of remembering that you’re not going to forget.

Dhammarato: Yeah, remember that. I’m not going to forget. Remember that. I’m going to pay attention, remember that. I’m going to look to see what kind of thought and feelings that I have. Because if I can see them, I can change them. So if I remember to look, I can see and I can change.

Shamil: Yeah, it’s very.

Dhammarato: Every time I go noble path for you right there, to look and to change and to feel really good about that change. And automatically the mind starts to collect together, it becomes unified. And when the mind is unified and you don’t want anything, then your morality is going to be really, really spot on perfect. Because if you don’t want anything, you’re not going to kill anybody. If you don’t want anything, you’re not going to steal it. If you don’t want anything, you’re not going to lie your way around it.

Shamil: Yeah, I really hope I don’t do those things in the future. So this would be useful.

Dhammarato: Yeah. Well, that’s because you’re already okay. And if you see that you’re okay and remember that you’re okay. Wow, what a marvelous situation that is. I’m okay.

Shamil: Yeah, that is true.

Dhammarato: I’m good enough. I don’t have to win, I don’t have to compete. I’m already okay.

Shamil: It’s so cool because even when I first start saying that, the first thing that comes up is if you keep saying this, then you’re going to lose. And then you’re like, oh, wait, that’s not, that’s not helpful at all.

Dhammarato: No, that’s just another unwholesome thought. That’s your dad talking. There’s really nothing to lose. The only thing there is to lose is the things that you were wrong about thinking that they were really important or, in fact, obviously nothing was important. It. Because here you are.

Shamil: Here I am. I have a. Should I get a chocolate cake before I go to bed? I’m, like, thinking about it. I might.

Dhammarato: I’m sorry, I’m not calling you.

Shamil: Oh, I’m about to go to bed. I’m wondering if I should get, like, a cake for better not.

Dhammarato: All right, well, the thing to do is to, when you go get in bed, start having happy thoughts. Wow, this bed is so nice. No place to go and nothing to do for the next eight hours. Oh. Take a deep breath and just relax. Oh, this feels good to lay on my side and just enjoy the evening. Everything is okay. Everything is fine. Wow, how nice it is.

Shamil: I’m gonna do that.

Dhammarato: All right, well, you go do that. You go practice. In fact, getting into bed is the best time to practice. Just doing nothing other than enjoying the moment. Wow. Everything is okay. Right now is good enough right now.

Shamil: Yeah. Is there anything I can do for you before I leave?

Dhammarato: Everything right now is okay.

Shamil: Okay.

Dhammarato: But for you, I would suggest that you join our website and take a look around. It has a whole lot of stuff. In fact, we have tons and tons of audios. We have tons and tons of videos. We have quite a selection of videos. We have a huge number of links. We have a huge number of people to make friends with, A huge, huge number of places to go, many of which would be close enough. So you might want to find a wad or temple or something close by and go visit, become friends with them.

Shamil: You’re from South Carolina, right?

Dhammarato: I spent time in South Carolina.

Shamil: Oh, I heard about the motorbike gang thing. It was very interesting.

Dhammarato: That was in Dylan Flat road’s not a hill in sight.

Shamil: Sounds kind of fun, but. Yeah. All right, well, I hope you have a good rest of your day.

Dhammarato: Yeah, you too. You go have a smile right now. We’ll see you later.

Shamil: We’ll see you later. Bye.

Summary of this Dhamma Talk

In this Dhamma talk with Shamil, Dhammarato explores the nature of present-moment awareness and the liberation that comes from releasing the need to constantly make “perfect” decisions. The discussion centers around breaking free from inherited patterns of perfectionism and self-judgment, particularly those stemming from parental expectations. Dhammarato emphasizes that “now is still here” - we may leave the present moment, but it never leaves us. He uses various metaphors, including a critique of traditional Christian concepts of heaven and a reference to an old Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercial, to illustrate how we often postpone happiness based on external conditions rather than accepting the present moment’s inherent peace.

Outline of this Dhamma Talk

The Nature of Present Moment

• Now has the quality of always being here
• People leave the present moment, but now is still here
• Importance of returning to the here and now
• Everything is already okay

Breaking Free from Inherited Patterns

• Discussion of father’s “all stick and no carrot” approach
• How perfectionist patterns get passed down through generations
• Concept of “original sin” as being judgmental and finding problems
• Breaking the cycle of “not good enough”

Cultural Programming of Delayed Happiness

• Critique of postponing happiness until death
• Extended analysis of Christian heaven concept
• Problems with traditional heaven imagery
• Philadelphia Cream Cheese commercial’s alternative heaven vision ¹
• Question of what makes a real paradise

Decision Making and Peace

• Understanding that all past decisions were “okay” since they led to now
• Focus on state of mind rather than perfect decisions
• When in good state of mind, wise decisions happen naturally
• Liberation from the burden of “right” decisions

Practice Through Repetition

• Martial arts analogy: skills become embedded through practice
• Example of martial artist remembering training in crisis
• Importance of developing the skill of remembering
• Practice as continuous return to awareness

The Art of Looking

• Looking vs thinking about looking
• Importance of repetitive looking rather than thinking and feeling
• Clear seeing through observation rather than judgment
• Breaking the cycle of look-think-feel-suffer

Handling Emotions and Attachment

• Understanding sadness as thought-created
• Brief marble example to illustrate unnecessary attachment
• Temporary nature of emotions
• Choice in responding to loss

Practical Application

• Specific instructions for bedtime practice
• Appreciating the moment of rest
• Finding contentment in doing nothing
• Transforming daily moments into practice

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References