The Sangha US 143 11 23 24

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Transcript

Dhammarato: So welcome folks. It’s Saturday morning, December, November 23rd, and it’s 9:00 here. And that today, thanks to some suggestions, we’re going to talk about our attitude. Now, in the Anapanasati sutta, this is referred to as citta Nupasana, and that citta is often translated into English as mind. However, we need to understand that in the suttas, there’s actually two qualities or two kinds of mind. One of them is citta and the other one is manu. Now, manu actually has the word man in it, like human, et cetera, and that this is actually referring to as the higher mind or the frontal cortex, to where the citta is normally referred to as the more primitive mind, the feeling mind. You could also go so far as to talk about it in the sense that the frontal cortex is a processing machine and the feeling mind or the citta is more of a feeling mind. And it’s also the attitude that we have. And the attitude actually controls almost everything. It’s also referred to in the seven factors of Enlightenment Sambhujana as state of mind. To investigate this state of mind. So to investigate the state of mind means to keep track of what attitude that you have. Do you have a positive attitude or a negative attitude, or which attitude way are you meaning? Now, you can think of an old girlfriend and have a happy state of mind. You can have a winner’s state of mind. You can have a positive attitude, or you can think about the girlfriend with a negative state of mind, a victim state of mind, an old, poor me state of mind. And then those two different states of mind will actually affect both the thoughts and the feelings. An example that I would use is imagine that there’s been a big professional boxing match, went for a whole bunch of rounds, and maybe it was, let us say, a call, or maybe it was a knockout. But at the end of the fight, you have someone who is a winner and someone who is a loser, all right? They are both then going to go get their massage with a different state of mind. One’s going to have a loser state of mind and the other one is going to have a winner’s state of mind. And they can both have similar thoughts in the sense of, wow, this boxing is too much, I think I’ll retire. And both of them are thinking about retiring, but one of them is thinking about retiring in a much more negative way. And the other one is thinking about, I just won the title, maybe now is the time to retire on top. And the other one is thinking about maybe it’s time to retire because I might get my ass beat again.

Speaker B: This is really topical. This is really relevant to recent developments in the ufc, at least. I don’t know if you watch the ufc, but what you’re talking about is exactly what’s happening right now. Yeah, where.

Dhammarato: Where was your reference us?

Speaker B: So, like, there’s this guy, there’s this guy who’s the heavyweight champion. He keeps winning, and he won again. And the, the guy he just beat, he kind of dragged him out of retirement to beat him, and that guy’s never going to fight again. But now he’s thinking there’s this new up and comer who’s really dangerous, that he’s avoiding fighting. So now he’s thinking, oh, I’m going to retire now, because he doesn’t want to give, like, he doesn’t want to give a shot to the up and comer guy, because he’s probably going to knock him out. And then. Yeah.

Dhammarato: Scott, perhaps being a sportsman, you’ve been following boxing maybe for the past 75 years or more. I remember when I was a child, we got our first television in 1950, and guess what was on Cavalcade of Sports with Gillette, and they had boxing then. And guess what? Even then, this same thing happened. This has happened probably on every title fight there was is one has a winner’s attitude and the other one has a loser’s attitude based upon the fight that just happened. And you can see then that our attitude actually is kind of affected by events, but we have full control over our attitude. So, Santiago, when you are having thoughts about the girlfriend, you have a choice about what attitude you’re going to have about her. And you also have a choice about changing your attitude, which means perhaps changing your thoughts about her. But in this case, due to the Dhamma you see in the boxing ring, no, Dharma, there’s just attitude. But here we have a choice about our attitude. This is where Sati comes in, is we have to keep remembering that this is, in fact, the quality that is going to be really important to develop, because if we can’t remember, we can’t look. And this is what we have to do, is remember to look. And if you can remember to look and see what kind of attitude that you have, then you have a chance, a choice of changing it. And if you do not remember to look, then you’re kind of stuck in it. And so now the question would be, well, how long is it going to be before we remember? How long is it going to be before we wake up, how much dukk we going to put up with before we recognize that, oh, I could wake up, take a look at what’s going on and make a change. Let’s improve this thing. This is really an important quality of the teaching of the Buddha. And this quality of the citta is kind of different than the thoughts that we have. But you can tell easily that the state of mind that we have affects the thoughts that we’re going to have and the way that we feel affects our state of mind. And so if you just came out of a boxing match where you just got your tail beat, your feelings in the body are going to be pretty low, which means your feelings and your emotions are going to be pretty low, which means then that your attitude is going to be pretty low. And that means that your thoughts are going to be pretty low. These things all affect one another. This is an important quality that the Buddha pointed out. I think it’s in step, not step, but item 7 and 8 is to see the mental conditioner, to see that feeling is a conditioner. But it actually goes throughout the four satipatthana. All four foundations affect one another. But in this regard, the attitude is the king. Now we can actually influence and tell the king what to do by changing our thoughts. In other words, we can have an old poor me attitude, but then we can say, everything is all right, everything is going to be fine, and fairly soon we can change that attitude. This is in fact exactly the way that The Sutta number 117, the great 40, talks about it, in the sense that we can look at these thoughts and see that they’re unwholesome, but we can’t look at them unless we have sati. So, right viewing, right looking comes first, but it only comes first in the sense that we can remember to do it. And so there are many exercises, Santiago, that we can go through that is going to help us to develop as a skill this ability to remember. And one of them actually is in the clue in the Anapanasati Sutra, and that is a long deep in breath and then a long deep outbreath. You can’t take a long deep in breath unless you remember to do it. So as you take in a long deep in breath, it’s only because you remembered to do it. And it’s only because you decided to change your mind. The mind is the forerunner for everything. The mind is the forerunner. So you can’t take a deep breath without the mind taking a deep breath. And the mind’s not going to take a deep breath until you remember to take a deep breath. And so remembering on the in breath and remembering on the out breath over and over and over again. This is something that we can practice. So whenever we remember, oh, I don’t have to think about that girlfriend, then I can start taking long breaths and say, well, I don’t have to remember her. Wow, what a relief it is. Wow, I don’t have to think about her. Wow, what a relief it is. Wow, she’s gone. Let’s get rid of her over and over and over again. Every in breath we can have a good wholesome thought. And every out breath. What a relief it is that in fact, over time I have developed a kind of one that I use often. I would go so far as to say it’s my favorite or it’s my anchor about the past. And that thought is, wow, I am so glad I don’t have to do that anymore. How many thoughts have you had about that in the sense of how many times have you crawled under a car? Wow, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. How many times did you have to do homework? And you think about it and now when you think about it, you can say, well, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. And so when you think about that girlfriend, you can say, oh, the girlfriend is gone. On the in breath and wow, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore on the out breath. So this is the way of beginning to see over and over and over again to remember to look that we’ve got a choice. Only when we remember that we’ve got a choice. Go ahead, Scott.

Speaker B: Also, another thing about the girlfriend thing that helped me is your girlfriend’s not here right now. So it’s like if you look in around, she’s not there. So you’re only making it up. Like even the thoughts you’re having about your girlfriend, that’s not your girlfriend, that’s a thought that you’re having about her. You know, it’s not going to, it’s not the same. You’re, you’re, you’re, you’re creating a. Memories, fantasies of a memory of a memory of a memory. So it’s like, it’s like all this fantasy that you’ve created and you’re pretty much what you’re doing is you’re wanting something that you don’t have and that’s why you’re suffering. Even when you’re the girlfriend was there you wouldn’t be happy all the time.

Dhammarato: That’s why she’s not there. Because you weren’t happy when she was.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you’re always wanting something other. So making up realities that aren’t here. You know, just remind yourself, my girlfriend’s not here. You know, she’s gone. I’m only thinking about my own ideas of it. It’s not the real thing.

Dhammarato: Yes, Alex, go ahead. Another thing to think about, and I.

Speaker B: Don’T know if it’s going to hit.

Dhammarato: Home right now for you, but you’re a lot more free than you were when she was around. Yes, that goes exactly with what I would say. Glad I don’t have to do that anymore. Wow. I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. So stay with that. Remember, over and over and over again, we have to develop that sati. Now, as Scott said before, and that is, he says, yeah, so what if you’ve been thinking about the girlfriend for the past 30 minutes and you’ve gotten a really, really negative attitude, but then you remember. And when you remember, you can say, wow, look at that. I don’t have to deal with her anymore. I don’t have to deal with her right now. Now, what is very common for beginning meditators is to say, oh, I have been wasting my 30 minutes. Oh, look at me. Oh, poor me. I’m not practicing correctly. I’m a piece of shit. Well, can you see that? That also is an unwholesome thought. Be happy that you can see, even if it’s been 30 minutes on her. Now you can see that you spent 30 minutes on her. You can say, well, right now I don’t have to. Right now I can be free. But that’s an important quality, is to change it not from one unwholesome thought to another unwholesome thought, but to change it from an unwholesome thought back to a wholesome thought. And, wow, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. That’s a really wholesome thought. Oh, what a relief it is. I can imagine that old people, when they don’t have much of a future left, don’t have any place to go and nothing much to do. They spend a lot of time in what is called reminiscing. Now, one of the qualities of reminiscing is that we start thinking about something that we like, and then immediately that’ll turn into something that we didn’t like. Like, oh, I remember my grandmother, when we took care of her. And then immediately I think about, oh, well, years before that she had a garden and she made me work in that garden. And I hate okra. I hate okra in the garden because it’s sticky. And I hate okra in the mouth because it don’t taste good. And all I started with was granny. Okay, so one unwholesome thought or one thought after another will lead very quickly to unwholesome thoughts. We’re in the habit of having unwholesome thoughts, but one of the things that we can train is to start watching the sequence that we go from this thought to that thought to that thought. Can you back up two or three thoughts and say, hey, before I had this thought, I had that one before that and then I had that one before that. And you can take just a second to do that, to recognize that you’ve got a monkey mind. And it jumps from one thing to the next to the next. And everything is somehow related. Everything is associate that this is what Freud talked about, associative memory. But really it’s just the mind jumping from one thing to the next to the next. If you can see that, you can say, wow, I can stop that. Wow. I could come back to this present moment and wow, what a relief it is. What a relief it is.

Speaker B: So, Scott, I heard, I heard, yeah, I heard. To riff off that, I heard someone describe it as a thought-nado. So like thoughts kind of like the same way a tornado develops. Like, it starts with one thought and then there’s another thought and they start to swirl around each other. And then there’s a whole moment before, you know, you’re in a thought storm where there’s a huge flood of, oh, panic, worry, fear, all these thoughts are swirling around each other. Um, it. But it’s all started with that first thought. You know, if you, if you can see how each thought leads to the next thought, leads to the next thought, leads to a spiraling of thought.

Dhammarato: Exactly.

Speaker B: Cascading.

Dhammarato: Yeah, yeah, I have heard a sharknado. But thought-nado. That’s a good one. I like that thought-nado. Yeah, yeah, we’ve got a thought nado. It’s just.

Speaker B: Yeah.

Dhammarato: Or as Trump would do it, we’ve got our own internal mental windmill just grinding on one thought after another after another. And if we can see that, that’ll give us kind of the, the attitude of, hey, I’m going to fix that. I am not going to keep getting stuck in those thought nado’s. And so when you’re thinking about a girlfriend by the way for 30 minutes. That’s the thought. nado, it’s not just one thought. It’s not just, oh, I miss that girl. No, you’re going to think about her panties, you’re going to think about her pantyhose, you’re going to think about her skirts, you’re going to think about her wool coat. You’re going to think, see you. And then you’re going to think about her mother. And then you’re going to think about the car ride and then you’re going to just take around and around and around and around. Can you see that sequence so that you could get the. The mojo. Change your attitude. Wow, I can change that. I don’t have to get stuck in that stuff. Yeah, but I can change my attitude. Go ahead.

Speaker C: I’ve. I’ve been able to remove the negative thoughts about this ex girlfriend, but there is still the. That sort of the trailing lamentation of oh, well, how’s she doing? And so on. So the problem is really, well, it’s with the lamentation, but it’s also with.

Dhammarato: The, with the being here.

Speaker B: Like, can you catch it before it becomes lamentation? So it doesn’t start off as lamentation. It starts off, yeah, can you get you.

Dhammarato: When it’s still a go patient before it becomes a lamb versus just like.

Speaker B: Oh, it’s like, it may seem like an innocent thought, but what you’re doing is you’re. It’s like a little want, a little desire for something. And then before you’re like, okay, you start, you start imagining. You start, okay, why did she leave me? What is it because of I’m not good enough? Because of all these things. You start thinking about yourself. And then the thought nado starts to become lamentation. But it starts off with that first thought that flies under the radar because you don’t see it as duka. You don’t see that’s it. This thought is leading to dukkha.

Dhammarato: Right? That’s an important thing you said about under the radar. Sati then is going to become your radar so that you don’t let stuff fly under the radar. You readjust your radar so that you’re catching a whole lot more stuff that it’s not going to go long before you say aha. Ex girlfriend Duka do kaduka. Wow, I’m glad I don’t have to think about her. And again, not now.

Speaker C: Yeah, that’s what’s been holding me back. Because I know how, if I catch it, I know how to get rid of it. That’s the thing, if I catch it, but if I’m automatic, it’s just. But if I catch it, I know, I know how to kick it off. I can kick it off. And that’s how, like these last three months.

Speaker B: What I’m suspecting is you’re not catching the initial thoughts. So like there’s like D talks about this before. There’s thoughts that are obviously unwholesome. Right? Like, I want to kill my ex girlfriend. How could she do that to me? That’s a. We could obviously see that as duka, right? But there’s thoughts that aren’t as obvious if you’re not paying attention. You know, they’re not obviously dukkha because they, they may see seem innocent. But if you, if you really are paying attention, you. You’re seeing this thought is. It’s a. It comes from a sense of lack or it comes from like not being satisfied. It comes from disease. So like this, this, this subtle disease is what leads to big, big disease, you know?

Speaker C: I see, I see. Okay, so, yeah, I’m misunderstanding. I’m thinking about the hateful stuff that I, that I’ve been able to get rid of, but I’m not recognizing that also there are other thoughts that can lead me into the fucking tornado that will then. Yeah, yeah, become the suffer. I see. Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker B: Thanks.

Dhammarato: So that’s what we mean by flying under the radar is you can have a whole swarm of stuff flying under the radar until you begin to see it. As it picks up, it becomes more visible. And that the practice that the Buddha teaches is we actually practice it. We get good at seeing it. This is why we talk about it. Thus, one trains oneself. We train ourselves into gladdening the mind. We train ourselves into seeing what we’ve got there and making a change to it. That, that in fact is the point that I was making before is the gladdening of the mind is something like, wow, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. There’s that glad right there. Wow, I’m so glad I don’t have to think about her. Don’t have to think about her. So this is a skill to be developed and the development of these three Run. One, they run circles around each other. So the Buddha says that right remembering, right waking up and right investigation and then right effort, they run and circle around each other, which means that they influenced one another. Which means then that they are a triple skill set. It’s a skill set that we’re developing and that the lead One is the remembering to look. And then the actual looking is the big skill to be developed to see what is wholesome and unwholesome. That’s the skill to be developed because a lot of people will say, yeah, but I was just thinking about my old girlfriend. And they don’t even see that that’s dangerous. They don’t see the difficulty. And so as soon as you can see. Oh, well. And so the Buddha recommends it in the sense that if it’s in the past, it’s probably unwholesome. Yeah, if it’s in the future, it’s probably unwholesome. If it’s happening right now, it’s possibly wholesome. Right now I don’t have to think about her. That’s definitely wholesome. Wow, what a relief it is. Don’t have to think about her. And if you keep developing that skill, fairly soon it’ll be very easy to push her out as soon as the thought comes up. I mean, here you are lollygagging in, wow, this is so nice. And then girlfriend comes up, aha, I see you and get out. And so that’s the skill is when those unwholesome thoughts come, throw it back out a lot.

Speaker B: Having success. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I’ve been having, I’ve been having success recently. Like, you know how we do the whole I see you, Mara thing. So I’ve been having success with like thinking about these thoughts as like demons and like, like just seeing, like, oh, I. These are demons trying to mess with my mind and then casting, casting them out, you know, like I see it, I see that the tricks, like it’s like, trick. It’s like a. Tricks that they’re trying to play on you, you know, don’t get tricked. You have to be a vigilant awake.

Dhammarato: Yes. And you were given a whole, what you would call gaggle, I guess, a horde of demons. When you were a child, your mom gave you a whole bag pool. Your dad gave you a bag full. Uncle Sam gave you a bag full. Your first grade teacher gave you a whole truckload of them. Right. And so there they are. And they’ll come up and our job is to see them to be on guard for these demons that come up. Now the reality is that they’re really not demons. They’re just merely our attitudes and our thoughts that give us the feelings. And most people don’t have a clue about how to change feelings. And the sequence is that if you can remember to change your thoughts and then add the attitude to that in Other words, just say, glad I don’t have to think about her. End of. Wow. I’m so glad I don’t have to think about her. That’s actually changing your attitude. And then that attitude will give you the change of feeling and the feeling will come in. It’s not a vocal, but it’s more of that sigh, that relaxation, that what a relief it is. Don’t have to think about her anymore. Go ahead, Scott.

Speaker B: Yeah, I think, like, you know how we’re saying it’s a thought-nado, in the unwholesome direction, it’s the same thing in the wholesome direction. Like, it’s a. It’s a tornado that builds momentum around itself. And it’s a joy. It’s a joy-nado. Like, you feel so much joy, like by being free of the dukkha that you’re having. So, like, the joy is like super energetic, like, because you did it, like you made it out of dukkha. And then after that joy, like, it’s more like relaxation, you know, like calming the body down, releasing the bodily tensions. Yeah.

Dhammarato: As we relax over and over and over again, occasionally we will have thoughts like, I can do this. And those thoughts will grow into, wow, I can do this. And those thoughts will grow into, got it. I’ve got it. Okay. That’s what the sutras is referred to as pity. Now, that state doesn’t last long, but it sure does energize to recognize, I’ve got this, I can do this. And that really, really does help change the attitude so that when girlfriend comes creeping back into the left ear, we can say, ah, I see you and I’ve got you. So you can pick her up and throw her right back out. And so this attitude of sukha. So let’s define what sukha is. Actually. The sukha has a major important quality of feeling safe and secure. Because when you’re thinking about the girlfriend, you don’t feel safe, you don’t feel secure. You feel like you’ve lost something. You feel like either that you lost something or that she’s going to beat you up or something like that. But it doesn’t have a feeling of safety and security built into it. And so one of the qualities of developing our sati, developing our skill, is to see the reality is that we’re actually safe. We’re actually safe, we’re secure. There is nothing that’s going to attack us right now. This is part of the reason why the Buddha says, get yourself into seclusion. It’s really hard to feel Safe and secure. When you’re in the police station, that’s a pretty busy place. It’s pretty hard to feel safe and secure when you’re out in traffic, especially if you’re out on the freeway walking. That’s not a safe place. So we need to get in seclusion, getting away from it all so that we can feel safe in reality. And then as we feel safe in reality, eventually we can feel safe by talking ourselves into the reality is that I’m safe, that she can’t hurt me, only my thoughts can hurt me, and I’m not going to let that happen. And so safety and security then comes to comfort. And once we have that comfort, that will bring on that the next one, which is the big one. And that is feeling satisfied. Wow, I’m really okay without her. I don’t need her. Everything is just fine without her. Wow. I really like being without her. Wow, what a relief it is to be without her. Well, I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore. And that will build into that. Wow, I am so glad I don’t have to deal with women. Not the kind of dealing with. When. I mean, they’re human beings. You can deal with them as a human being, but when you deal with them as an object of lust, that’s painful, that’s not secure. Go ahead, Scott.

Speaker B: Oh, I raised my hand a long time ago, and I forgot what I was going to say. I think I was going to say something about. It was like an earlier thread of conversation, but I don’t think it’s that important if I forgot about it.

Dhammarato: All right, Santiago, what do you have to say about what we’ve been talking about?

Speaker C: What is there to say? It’s a one, say, one.

Dhammarato: How about you, Alex? You raised the original question about citta Nupasana, the attitude. I think we covered every item.

Speaker B: I remember what I was going to say. So a lot of people. Would you say that a lot of people feel unsafe because they have, like, a fear of death or fear of dying? It’s like. Do you think fear comes from the fear of death, like, ultimately?

Dhammarato: Well, of course it does. And look at the analogy. I’ll die without her. I can’t do without her. Those are the kind of thoughts that we have. And so we actually bring that self into danger.

Speaker B: Yeah, it’s like an instinctual fear. You know, it’s our instinct that if a girl rejects us to. Or like anyone, any human rejects you, you have a, like a herd instinct that thinks like, oh, I’m Afraid to die because this person’s rejecting me.

Dhammarato: Yeah. And if I’m rejected by the whole herd and we get that, if she rejects me, all women will reject me and I have to have a woman, I’ll die. Okay, so it’s all the way back to that self preservation instinct that. That’s the primary instinct. And then the I’ll die without a bank account mentality is there. I’ve got to have some funds, I’ve got to have this and that. I’ll die without a family, I’ll die without a tribe. And so that gives rise into those secondary. And then the last one is kind of tertiary in the sense that it is affected by the other two. And that is what we call the territorial instinct. Like, I’ll die if I have to deal with those people. This gives rise to racism, gives rise to tribalism, and I’ll just die. If I have to be around people wearing turbans, then in fact, I’ll die. If I had to be around turbines, and I’ll probably say something so that one of them will kill me. And so we get this feeling of fear. And this is what politics is all about, is being able to manipulate your fears. And if you’re not afraid of anything, guess what? It’s really hard to manipulate you. And so this is the primary quality of the practice of Anapanosati is hot dog, I don’t need her, I can survive. Actually, the same thing would be that. Have you ever had a cell phone die? How did you feel when you had a cell phone die, Alex? Scared. Scared, exactly. We become afraid. Oh, I need that cell phone. Oh, all of my stuff’s on that cell phone. Oh, I won’t be able to make it without that cell phone. Oh, I’ll die without my cell phone. You can see that sequence of events going downhill to where, in fact, you don’t need a cell phone. You didn’t have a cell phone when you were 10 years old. When you go on an airplane, you can handle it, you don’t need that cell phone. But when the cell phone dies, we become afraid. When the laptop dies, we become afraid. When the relationship dies, we become afraid. A fear of loss, which ultimately is the fear of death. So what we can practice then is having thoughts of, I’m okay, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m safe, I’m secure. This is not dangerous. Dead cell phones are not dangerous. Reminds me of a joke that happened when I was a teenager. I worked for the state highway department in South Carolina, and I was on a team that went out to do surveys. And when we do surveys out there, we’re looking for two things. One, to put a road in, and number two, we’re looking for sand. Clay. Sand. Clay is the foundation that we use. We don’t want it too sandy and we don’t want it too clay. And so we’re digging holes to get it. And also we have to deal with beaver dams, which means in the PD swamps of South Carolina, we have to deal with both cottonmouth mossicans and rattlesnakes. Well, what we did was that there was a baby rattler. We caught it and killed it. And just as a joke, we put it on the floorboard of the driver’s seat in the truck because the driver, who was the boss, he didn’t know about it. And we all stood at the back of the truck waiting to see what happened as he started to truck up, to move it. And all of a sudden we started him jumping all over that cab when he saw that snake. But the reality was the snake was dead. It was already dead. Dead things can’t hurt you, but it reminds you of death and it reminds you of that you might die too. And it was fairly easy to see that that snake was dead because it was pretty badly mashed up. There wasn’t much snake left of it there. But when he saw it, he really forget. Boy, he was so mad at us for putting that snake in his truck. So that reminded me, in fact, that was a really good lesson for me to recognize that there was no danger there except in his mind. Just the shape of a snake was enough to frighten him. He could have looked at the snake and then looked at it. And if he looked at it, he could see that it was all mashed up. Didn’t harbor head laughed hardly because it was all crushed. The whole body was crushed. We really did that snake in. It was obviously that it was completely dead. But he didn’t look enough. He just became afraid immediately. We had no clue that he would get so freaked out about that snake. We thought it was a nice, clean, easy joke. And it turned out that he was really unhappy about it all because he didn’t look. But when you look, you can see that these thoughts about the girlfriend are really not that dangerous. They’re just a thought. And while I don’t have to think about her, brings us back to the point of it’s not dangerous. I’m safe. Go ahead, Scott.

Speaker B: I was going to ask a question like, do you think it’s Unwholesome to have the view, like, if I, when I die, I’m going to heaven in the afterlife. Like, what do you think about?

Dhammarato: Where else can you go? What is more peaceful than being dead? I’d rather be dead than in heaven. So my habit is just being peaceful. Really, really stretched out.

Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, that’s. That’s what heaven would like. If I had to think about heaven, like, it would just be peace, right? It would just. There wouldn’t be any suffering. It would just be total peace.

Dhammarato: Yeah, right. Just total hangout. Now the word, the concept of hell is brought up to scare people into behaving themselves. And that doesn’t work very well. And in fact, people who are the most afraid are the ones who were likely to do the most damage.

Speaker B: Yes. I think it’s better to realize that you’re in a. Like, you’ve created a living hell for yourself with your own suffering in this very life. Like, you can see that the types of thoughts and actions you have will create a hell right now. So, like, the point is to get out of the hell that we’re creating now and get into the heaven that we can be created now. Like, Right. And guess what, in your mind, yeah.

Dhammarato: The best part of heaven is there’s nothing to it. There’s nothing to it. That. That’s another phrase to use. Wow, there’s nothing to it. When we have that thoughts of the girl, we can say, wow, there’s nothing to it. That’s over. And when we have those thoughts of, oh, there’s nothing there, there’s nothing to it, then that allows us to feel safe and secure, safe and secure and then comfortable and then satisfied. Wow, there’s nothing to it. There’s nothing there. That’s the best kind of heaven. But in fact, the joke is that I don’t want to go to the Christian heaven. Can you imagine 10,000 years of playing that stupid little harp and meanwhile, God’s going to let any and everybody in. All they have to do is say that they want to be forgiven. And now you’ve got a bunch of rapists and pickpockets. What does the pickpocket do in heaven? He’s going to pick heavenly pockets. Who wants to be anything under heaven like that? The worst part of heaven in that regard is the truth is full of Christians. I left America to get rid of Christians, get away from them. Who wants a heaven like that? The other kind of heaven, I guess, is full of Muslims, and I don’t want that one either. Go ahead, Scott.

Speaker B: So I was thinking about like the fear of death and like the fear of your body dying. And I was thinking like, it’s probably related to the five aggregates. So like in, instead of like being afraid of your body dying, like seeing what is actually my body, like what is my, like the aggregates, what is my experience comprised of? You know, like, am I experiencing the body all the time or is the body like sensations that are like coming and going? You know what I mean? So you can realize that your body is like impermanent thing that’s like appearing and disappearing in mind, you know, so like your, your body is temporary, but.

Dhammarato: Like we’re trained that way in our society, especially by mommy. Just imagine that mommy has just bought a new dress for her three year old daughter. Puts the dress on the daughter. What does mom say? Does she say, that’s a nice dress or does she say, my, you look nice in that dress? How about the makeup industry? The girl is beautiful. No, what you’re looking at is paint. The paint is beautiful, the house is ugly. And so they paint themselves to be beautiful. Why? Because they have the attitude is that if the paint job is beautiful, then the house is beautiful, the body’s beautiful and the body’s beautiful. I am beautiful. Because they identify with the body. We do that also with our memories. When you have a memory, do you think of, oh, I remember. Yeah, that’s how we do it. I remember when. And then when we remember something, we think it’s real. And the fact is that it’s not real anymore. Mikey, do you remember the time when we went to Google and looked at Shawnee, Oklahoma, and everything was changed?

Speaker D: Yes. Not the same.

Dhammarato: Yeah. Grandpa’s house got torn down and Beard Street’s not. Beard street is Dill Street. The curves are in the wrong place. I didn’t remember hardly anything correctly. That’s the way that we do things, is that we think that they’re real because we remember them. And in fact, things get changed and our memories get stuck. My memory. And so the girl that you remember, Santiago, is not the girl that there is today. She’s changed today. She may have a club foot and a blind eye. You don’t know. And so it best not to deal with memories. All right. And so in that regard, memories are not ours. The body is not ours. Perception is not ours. What we think are things are not real. The example of that is when mom and my mother, when she was a girl, she lived with her family down by the river and they came Home at about sunset one evening, and before they could turn the lights on, the dog saw a snake right here in the middle of the room. And that dog grabbed that snake and shook and shook and shook and shook. When grandfather got the light turned on, he shoved the dog at a belt. Wasn’t real. It was perception. All right? When you first met that girl, you had a particular perception about her. And over time, that perception changed. The girl changed. She wasn’t the same anymore. And yet our memories kind of get fixed, and we think that they’re my memories, my perception, when in fact it’s not. This is why the Buddha talks about the five aggregates. The body is not me. The feelings are not me. The attitude is not me. Perception is not me. Memories are not me. And so it better to stay out of the past and stop seeing the body as me and just stay instead. Everything is all right. Everything is fine. So those are the five aggregates. And none of them are you. But girls, especially women and girls are trained that I am the body. Can’t get a man without a beautiful body. And so let me paint this body, because I don’t like this body. I want it to be a different body. And so I’m going to go to Mass Factor or Maybelline and buy a gallon of paint. But guys do it the same way. They go to the shopping center and they buy clothes. Oh, I’m a he man. Where, in fact, you’re not the body. If you were the body, you could change the body. Even Jesus says you can’t change your stature even one inch. If you’re old, you want to be young. If you’re young, you want to be old. We’re never satisfied with the way the body is, and we can’t change the body. And yet look how many gems there are out there. These guys pump up the body and get it all masculine and everything like that, and they still feel the same.

Speaker B: I go to the gym. I go to the gym because for my mind, not for my body. Because when I go to the gym and I’m lifting the weights, I’m not thinking about things. I’m just feeling my body. So it’s like. It’s more like a meditation. I feel like it can be a meditation. Like, but if you’re doing it for vanity, like, that’s just like that. That’s kind of weird.

Dhammarato: Yeah, but then there’s no end to it.

Speaker B: Yeah. No, no. Yeah. People have body dysmorphia. Like, they. They’re always trying to look a little better. And better and better. And they never feel satisfied. No matter how freakish they start using steroids. And no matter how freakish they get, it’s not enough. You know, Like, I think that’s the definitely myth. That’s a terrible extreme, but.

Dhammarato: Right. That’s over identification with the body. And the reality, Santiago, is you’re not the body. Isn’t that marvelous? You’re not the body. So let’s kind of bring this thing to a close. Alex, do you have anything to say? Oh, now it’s on. Sorry, I was on mute. Just thank you, everybody. And thank you, domorado. I appreciate everybody and I appreciate listening. All right, how about you, Alistair? You have anything? How about you, Paul? You have anything? Just thank you very much for the teachings. Really enjoyed listening. Gladdening my mind through your words. All right. Edward, how about you?

Speaker B: Everything is okay, but, yeah, I’ll be down to hang out on Discord after this if anybody wants to join.

Dhammarato: All right, that’s a good point. Harwan, how about you? You got anything to say?

Speaker B: Afk. Yeah.

Dhammarato: How about you, Dharma Das? Oh, no, just. Thank you so much. All right, Mikey, why don’t you take it home?

Speaker D: Yeah. Everyone, for being here today. And if you’re listening to this call on YouTube, come join us sometime. We have quite a few listeners, and it’s always nice to make new friends. You can check the YouTube description for our links. Join OpenSonga Foundation.org our Skype groups and our Discord as well. And we also have a new Skype group called one on one Dharma calls that you can join and schedule A1 on one call with Domarato or another seasoned practitioner from our Sangha. So, yeah, check all that out. And yeah, take care, everyone.

Dhammarato: All right, well, thank you all. I very much appreciate it. Thank you, Scott.

Speaker B: Yeah, thank you. It was a pleasure.

Dhammarato: Thank you, Santiago.

Speaker C: Thank you, the both of you and everybody.

Dhammarato: All right, we’ll see you.

Speaker B: Bye. Bye. Thank you very much. Tamarata loved it.

Summary of this Dhamma Talk

Outline of this Dhamma Talk

**

• [0:06-0:23] Introduction:

  • Dhammarato welcomes everyone to the Saturday morning session.
  • He mentions the topic will be about “our attitude” and is based on suggestions.

• [0:23-1:43] Defining the “Mind” (Saññā):

  • The talk will be related to the “anapanasati sutta” where “saa” or sañña refers to mind.

  • Key Concept: Dhammarato introduces two types of mind within the suttas:

    • Citta (Ca): The primitive mind, feeling mind, the mind where attitude resides. He refers to it as controlling almost everything.
    • Manas (Manu): The higher mind, the frontal cortex, a processing machine.

  • He states that “attitude” is controlled by the citta, the feeling mind.

• [1:43-2:53] Attitude and its Impact:

  • Attitude is connected to the seven factors of enlightenment, specifically as the “state of mind to investigate the state of mind.”
  • Elaboration: This means being aware of one’s attitude (positive or negative).
  • Analogy: He uses the example of thinking about an old girlfriend to illustrate how the same thought can trigger either a happy or victim state of mind.
  • He states these different states of mind affect both our thoughts and feelings.

• [2:53-4:21] Boxing Match Example:

  • Analogy: A boxing match winner and loser both go for massages but with drastically different attitudes.
  • Both might have the thought of retirement, but their attitude influences how they consider it.
  • The winner considers retiring “on top”, while the loser considers it from a position of fear of further defeat.
  • Real-World Connection: He references a recent UFC fight as a real world example of what he is talking about.

• [4:21-5:36] Universality of the Concept:

  • A participant confirms the relevance of the idea using the recent UFC fight as an example.
  • Dhammarato suggests this “winner/loser attitude” has likely occurred in every title fight.
  • He emphasizes that attitude is affected by events, but we have full control over it.

• [5:36-6:29] The Role of “Sati” (Mindfulness/Remembering):

  • He returns to the initial example of thinking about an old girlfriend.
  • Key Idea: You have a choice about the attitude you’ll have towards her.
  • Crucial point: The choice begins by remembering to look at your attitude (Sati), which is a quality that needs to be developed.
  • If you can not remember you get “stuck in it”

• [6:29-7:43] Dukkha, Waking Up and Changing Attitudes

  • He asks “how long will we put up with dukkha before we wake up and make a change”
  • He says “let’s improve this thing” to emphasize the ability we have to change our state of mind
  • He clarifies that “saitta” is different than thoughts themselves, although saitta affects the thoughts.
  • He also describes that feelings affect your state of mind, thus also impacting thoughts, feelings and attitude.
  • He also describes that the Buddha pointed this out in steps 7 and 8 in order to see the mental conditioner to see that feeling is a conditioner but it permeates all of the four foundations of “Sati patana”.
  • He says the attitude is the king and we can influence it by changing our thoughts.

• [7:43-9:50] How Attitude Affects Thoughts and Feelings

  • He states that the state of mind effects the thoughts and the way we feel and it all effects each other.
  • If you lose a fight your feelings will be low and so will your emotions, and also your attitude and thoughts.
  • He says this is an important quality the Buddha pointed out.
  • He says attitude is the “king”
  • He says we can influence the king by changing our thoughts.
  • He says we can have an “old poor me” attitude and we can change it by saying “everything will be alright”.
  • He emphasizes that we can see these thoughts are unwholesome but we can only look at them if we have “Sati”
  • Right looking comes first, but it comes only if we remember to do it.

• [9:50-12:51] Practical Exercise - The Long Breath:

  • Exercise: Long deep breaths (in and out) are an exercise to develop mindfulness (Sati). You remember to take the breath, making it a conscious choice.
  • Concept: The mind is the forerunner for everything, meaning you need to have the mind to take a deep breath.
  • He links the breath with remembering by saying remembering on the in and out breath is something we can practice.
  • He brings back the example of the girlfriend stating when we remember we do not have to think about her we can start taking long deep breaths.
  • Specific Technique: With each in-breath, have a wholesome thought (e.g., “I don’t have to think about her”); with each out-breath, a thought of relief (e.g., “What a relief it is”).
  • He uses an example of something in the past that he doesnt want to do anymore, and he feels relieved when he thinks about not having to do it.

• [12:51-14:20] The Illusion of Memories:

  • Participant’s Insight: The participant points out that memories are not reality. The girlfriend isn’t present, so all thoughts about her are made up, a fantasy.
  • Concept: This fantasy leads to suffering because you’re wanting something that isn’t present (even when the girlfriend was present, you weren’t completely happy).
  • The participant states that you are making up realities that are not here.
  • He recommends reminding yourself she is not here.

• [14:20-16:20] Freedom and the Danger of Negative Thinking:

  • Participant’s Insight: Another participant adds that being free from the relationship is liberating.
  • Key Concept: Don’t switch from one unwholesome thought to another (e.g., feeling bad for spending 30 minutes thinking about her); instead, switch to a wholesome thought (“I don’t have to deal with her anymore”).
  • Dhammarato’s Perspective: It is ok to have a unwholesome thought for 30 mins, but be happy that you can see it and can choose to be free.

• [16:20-18:28] The “Monkey Mind” and Unwholesome Thoughts:

  • Concept: The mind tends to jump from one thought to another (associative memory).
  • Example: Reminiscing can quickly turn from pleasant to unpleasant thoughts.
    • Example: Thinking about a grandmother leads to remembering working in her garden and hating okra.
  • Key Idea: Train yourself to see the sequence of thoughts; back up and see the progression.
  • Benefit: Seeing the “monkey mind” gives you the power to stop it, to come back to the present moment.

• [18:28-20:55] The “Thought-nado”:

  • Metaphor: A thought “tornado” (or “thought-nado”) is introduced to describe how thoughts swirl and gain momentum.
  • Elaboration: A simple thought can quickly lead to a storm of panic, worry, fear.
  • Point: Being aware of how thoughts link can allow one to stop the spiral.
    • He emphasizes that when thinking of the girlfriend for 30 minutes it is a “thought-nado” not just one thought.
  • He then talks about the progression of that though, mentioning that you would think about specific things like her panties.
  • Goal: Develop the “mojo” to change your attitude and not get stuck in these “thought-nados”

• [20:55-24:17] Recognizing Subtle Forms of Dukkha:

  • Participant’s Question: The participant who initially had trouble with the girlfriend example admits that they have got rid of the hateful thoughts but there is still the “trailing lamentation” of “how is she doing”.
  • Important Concept: Catch the thoughts before they turn into full lamentation. Even seemingly innocent thoughts can be the beginning of a thought-nado.
  • The Subtle Forms: The subtle disease of “wanting something” which leads to greater forms of suffering.
  • Dhammarato’s Response: “Sati” becomes your radar, helping to catch those thoughts that fly under the radar. You will be able to say “ex-girlfriend, dukkha, dukkha, dukkha, Wow I am glad i dont have to think about her again”.
  • Example: The participant has realized they are not catching the initial thoughts that lead to the “thought-nado”.
    • He gives the example of obviously unwholesome thoughts like “I want to kill my ex-girlfriend” as being easier to see.
    • He contrasts this with subtle thoughts that are not obviously dukkha because they can seem innocent, but come from a sense of lack or dissatisfaction.

• [24:17-25:34] Training and “Gladdening” the Mind:

  • Point: Practice allows us to get good at seeing these patterns.
  • Action: Train yourself to “gladden the mind” by seeing what’s there and making a change.
  • Example: The “glad I don’t have to do that anymore” thought.
  • He says remembering, waking up and right investigation and effort all influence each other and form a “triple skill set”.
  • The main skill to develop is remembering to look.
  • He says the big skill to develop is looking to see what is wholesome and unwholesome.
  • He says that many people would not see a thought of an ex girlfriend as dangerous.

• [25:34-27:33] Past, Future, and Present:

  • Rule of Thumb: Thoughts of the past or future are likely to be unwholesome.
  • Present Moment Focus: Thoughts that happen right now are possibly wholesome.
  • Example: “Right now, I don’t have to think about her” is a wholesome thought, a relief.
  • With practice, it will become easier to discard unwholesome thoughts.

• [27:33-29:12] “I See You Mara” and the Personification of Thoughts as “Demons”:

  • Participant Insight: The participant personifies thoughts as “demons” trying to trick them, then casting those demons out.
  • Dhammarato’s Response: In a sense we were given a whole host of “demons” as children.
  • Reality Check: These demons are actually your attitudes and thoughts giving rise to feelings.
  • Key: Remembering to change your thoughts (like “I’m glad I don’t have to think about her”) changes your attitude, which changes your feeling.
  • He states this feeling is a sense of relaxation and relief.

• [29:12-31:39] “Joy-nado” and “Piti” (Upliftment):

  • Participant Insight: Just as there’s an unwholesome thought tornado there is also a “Joy-nado”.
  • Elaboration: A tornado that builds momentum around itself as joy, after being free of suffering.
    • He states that this joy leads to a relaxation of the body.
  • Concept: Thoughts like “I can do this” can grow into “I’ve got it,” this is “piti” which energizes you to change your attitude.
  • Result: This energized attitude helps to overcome future challenges (like when thoughts of the girlfriend return).

• [31:39-34:29] “sukha” (Well-Being) and The Path to Satisfaction:

  • Definition: sukha is defined as having a feeling of safety and security.
  • Explanation: When thinking about the girlfriend, you feel unsafe, insecure, like you’ve lost something or are in danger.
  • Goal: Develop Sati to realize you are actually safe and secure.
  • Importance of Seclusion: Seclusion is important in order to allow one to feel safe and secure.
  • Concept: Eventually, you can talk yourself into the idea that you are safe, that only your thoughts can hurt you.
  • Progression: Safety and security lead to comfort, which leads to feeling satisfied (“I’m okay without her”).
  • He talks about not wanting to “deal” with women as an object of lust which is painful.

• [34:29-39:21] Fear of Death, the Herd Instinct, and The Cellphone Example:

  • Participant’s Question: Do fears stem from a fear of death?
  • Dhammarato’s Response: Yes, you might think things like “I’ll die without her” or “I can’t do without her.”
  • Herd Instinct: When you are rejected by people it triggers a kind of fear instinct that causes one to think they will die.
    • He states that if someone is rejected by their girlfriend, they may get the thought that all women will reject them.
    • He says this stems back to the self preservation instinct.
  • Other Fears: Fears also come from fear of lack (money, family, tribe, etc.) and a territorial instinct that leads to racism and tribalism.
    • Manipulation of Fear: Politics manipulates these fears. If you have no fear you cannot be manipulated.
  • Goal: Through anapanasati, one learns “I don’t need her, I can survive.”
  • Analogy: The feeling of losing a cell phone is an example of how you are trained to fear loss and become afraid, even though it’s illogical.

• [39:21-42:28] The Dead Snake Story:

  • He tells a story of when he was a teenager when he put a dead snake in his bosses truck to play a joke on him.
  • The Point: Even dead things can trigger feelings of fear and death.
  • Lesson: He explains how he learned to recognize that there was no danger except in his mind.
  • Goal: Look closely to see that “thoughts about the girlfriend” are not dangerous, they are merely thoughts.

• [42:28-44:28] The Concept of Heaven and Unwholesome Views:

  • Participant’s Question: Is it unwholesome to believe you’ll go to heaven?
  • Dhammarato’s Response: Where could one go more peaceful than death, heaven does not seem better than that.
  • He emphasizes that the best part of heaven is there is nothing to it.
  • Concept of “Hell”: He states that the idea of “hell” was invented to scare people into behaving themselves.
    • He states that he believes we create our own hell through our own suffering in this life.
    • He claims the best part of heaven is that there is nothing to it.
    • He then states a joke about the Christian heaven, how the worse part is that it would be full of Christians and states that he left America to get away from them.

• [44:28-50:59] The Five Aggregates and Not Identifying With Them:

  • Participant’s Insight: Fear of the body dying is connected to the idea of the “five aggregates”. You could remove the fear by realizing your body is an impermanent thing that is always changing.
  • Dhammarato’s Response: Society trains us to identify with our bodies.
    • He states that when people put on clothes or make up they are stating their body is beautiful and therefore they are beautiful.
  • Key Concept: We identify with memories, as if they are still real, when they change over time.
    • He also states that the way we remember things is not real.
  • Example: Memories of a childhood town change. A girlfriend changes.
  • The Five Aggregates: The body, feelings, attitude, perception, and memories - none of them are actually “you”.
  • Goal: Stay out of the past and stop seeing the body as “you” but instead say “everything is alright, everything is fine.”

• [50:59-53:38] The Training on Identifying with the Body:

  • Explanation: People, especially women, are trained to think “I am the body.”
  • Example: Makeup and clothing are methods of trying to create an ideal body because of this identification.
  • Point: We are never satisfied with our bodies. We cannot change it, and yet there are many men who pump up their body but feel the same way.
  • Participant’s Insight: He goes to the gym for his mind not his body.
    • He explains that when he goes to the gym he is not thinking about things, he is feeling his body, making it like a meditation.
    • He explains if people go to the gym for vanity purposes, they are going to be unsatisfied.
    • Dhammarato’s Response: There is no end to it. People with body dismorphia will never be satisfied.
  • Key Takeaway: You are not the body.

• [53:38-56:39] Closing Remarks:

  • Dhammarato thanks everyone.
  • Participants express their gratitude.
  • Mikey promotes the Open Sangha Foundation resources.
  • Dhammarato thanks the participants.

Practical Practice Summary

A. Foundation: Cultivating Sati (Mindfulness)

1. Understand the Two Minds: Recognize that your mind has a primitive (feeling-based, citta) aspect that controls your attitude, and a higher, reasoning aspect (manas). This awareness helps you not identify with your initial emotional reactions.
2. Remember to Look: This is the key starting point. Develop the habit of checking in with yourself throughout the day:
   • Ask: What kind of attitude am I having right now? Am I leaning towards a positive or negative state of mind?
   • Notice: Observe the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that go along with that attitude.
3. The Long Breath Technique:
   • Practice: Dedicate time each day to consciously take long, deep breaths. This can be done in meditation or during any free moment.
   • Focus: As you inhale, have a wholesome thought (e.g., “I am safe,” “I am free”). As you exhale, have a thought of relief (e.g., “What a relief,” “I don’t need that”).
4. Use “Sati” as Your Radar: Be constantly vigilant for the subtle ways that Dukkha can enter into your thoughts:
   • Initial Thoughts: Remember that it is important to check what is behind even innocent thoughts.
   • Recognize the “Thought NATO”: Train yourself to notice how one thought can quickly lead to a spiral of negative thoughts. Try to back up and look at the progression.
5. Practice Seclusion: Find moments and places of solitude to better be able to assess the situation and to practice the steps described in this guide.
6. Develop the Habit of Waking Up: Keep track of how much time you are allowing negative attitudes to develop.

B. Changing Unwholesome Attitudes

1. Identify the Dukkha: Recognize when you’re feeling dissatisfaction, discomfort, or a negative attitude. Notice when your thoughts are in the past or future.
   • Example: When thinking about the girlfriend or any negative thought, notice the dissatisfaction in the thought and know that it is Dukkha.
2. Choose a New Attitude: You always have a choice about your attitude. Even with a negative thought, you can choose to shift to a more wholesome one.
   • Action: Immediately replace unwholesome thoughts with wholesome ones, especially by taking long deep breaths and repeating thoughts of relief and gratitude.
   • Example: When thinking about the girlfriend, say, “I don’t have to think about her. What a relief it is.”
3. Use Mantras: Repeat helpful phrases like, “Everything is all right,” “I am safe and secure,” “Wow there’s nothing to it,” “I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore.”
4. Don’t Get Stuck in Unwholesome Thoughts About Your Practice: If you realize you have spent a long time thinking negative thoughts, do not shame yourself. Be happy that you are noticing and are now able to change this unwholesome state of mind.

C. Embracing sukha (Well-Being)

1. Reclaim Your Safety: Recognize that you are safe right now. Thoughts are not dangerous; they are just thoughts.
   • Remember: The snake analogy – a dead snake can’t hurt you, just as a thought can’t hurt you.
2. Find Comfort: By releasing attachments and seeing that you are safe, allow yourself to relax, and feel at ease.
3. Cultivate Satisfaction: Know that you do not need anything outside yourself. Enjoy being free.
   • Practice: Repeat phrases that will cultivate satisfaction such as: “I am ok without her.”

D. Challenging Core Beliefs

1. Recognize the Fear of Death: Be aware of how your fears are connected to that deeper fear of death.
   • Remember: Things like fearing a lack of money, or a fear of losing a relationship, all stem from fear of death.
2. Understand that the Herd Instinct is a Fear Based response: Understand that the fear that can be trigged when someone rejects you, stems back to self preservation and a deep seeded fear of death.
3. The Cell Phone Analogy: Recognize how much of your fear is learned, illogical. Like the cell phone, you will survive even if something is lost, you can be ok without it.
4. Realize You Are Not Your Body:
   • Understand: Understand that society conditions us to think that we are our bodies.
   • Action: When your mind attempts to identify with the body, tell yourself “I am not the body”.
   • Remember: You cannot change the body, and yet many people attempt to make it more beautiful or more masculine.
5. The Five Aggregates: Know that your body, feelings, perceptions, attitude and memories are not “you”.
6. Release Attachment: Your memories, feelings, perception are not really yours, they are constantly changing. Release the attachment to them.
7. Stay in the Present: You cannot fix the past, and you do not know what the future holds. Focus your attention on the present moment.

E. Additional Tips

• Be Patient: This is a skill to be developed, it takes time and consistent practice.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Don’t beat yourself up for having “unwholesome thoughts”. See it as a chance to practice.
• Community: Join communities like the Open Sangha Foundation to connect with others, and share experiences.

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